Meny of are readers halve been asking recently: where has Mid Citizen gone. Is he sitting on his porch in humidity so oppressive he cant right his columns? Are the street’s around his house flooded making it impossible for him to get a beer from Pal’s accept by way of canoe? The answer is its august in NOLA so obviously yes. Anyways clearly we can handle are shit better than the NOSWB pumps becuase weve managed to come up for air long enough to give you a guide to New Orleans’ summer offering.
An event that requires you to pretend to be friends with people you never hang out with so you can pregame at there studio downtown and drink they’re abitas before you eventually split up from them and try to go meet up with some friend/potential hookup/group of co-workers that you will inevitably never find.
Somewhere between Calliope and Esplanade that you’d never otherwise go to, except for work if your a transplant, if you’re trying to bang a tourist, or if you for some reason like too pay to much money to see touring bands live. Be warned it might be dirty but not in the cool New Orleans culture way, just a lot of popeyes rappers or crushed michelob ultra cans on the ground.
You, you’re coworkers who you never hang out with, and maybe your dumbass friends if they were dumb enough to come to NOLA in the summer. Plenty of young or middle aged couples who just moved out to metarie and finally decided to higher a sitter. A few folks from the north shore staying in there mama’s sister’s guest room in the riverbend so they don’t have to drunk drive across the Causeway. People who may have been bullied into dressing in drag. People who are celebrating being able to dress in drag.
Probably at some hour you prefer to not drink at but you half to any ways to show everyone “how you party in NOLA.” Were talking either “can still taste the Snake and Jakes fernet in the roof of your mouth from that shot three hours ago” early or “just got over your hangover from the fernet at snake and jakes last night and can’t decide whether to get hi and watch superbowl xliv highlights or sleep more so you can go to avenue pub in a couple hours” early.
Because theirs nothing like a cold abita/dixie/canebrake/nola blond/chafunkta kingfish ale on a hot humid day. Because they’res nothing like seeing a second line/hot 8 brass band/a dj soul sister protegee while drinking white wine in a modern art gallery. Because theirs nothing like running into your friend from lsu who just moved back to his parent’s house in jefferson parish/the tulane girl who babysits your kids/the Teach For America girl you took to the leaf last weekend/that dude who runs your saints tailgate outside lucys surf bar. Because theirs nothing better to do in the summer. Because there’s nothing like New Orleans.